I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
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