i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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