Betty ford says i'm here all night
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
