If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
