is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
