How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
