I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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