So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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