WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
