I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
high people should be assigned attendants
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize