Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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