dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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