the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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