What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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