Welp...herpes.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
