What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize
