Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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