Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
