arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
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