i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
