R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
