maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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