this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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