so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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