The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
