she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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