i wish there were pregnant emoticons
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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