ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
