he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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