Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
