Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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