Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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