Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize
