Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
FUCK WHALES
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
