At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
