so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Drake has all the answers
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
