Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
