You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
