matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
