I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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