It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
