just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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