BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
