I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
