Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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