her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
