I just cut my nipple shaving
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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