help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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