It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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