so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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