Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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