White coat. Heels.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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