She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
