yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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