3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
