Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
