im about as happy as oj after his trial
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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