as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
