when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
