Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
