Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
